My official first day of summer June 1, 2009

So I’m getting off to a late start on this Monday morning.  I didn’t sleep in but I did just sit in the recliner with my kids while watching the Today Show.  Back in the days before kids (and before we had satelite) I will admit that I was slightly adicted to Dateline.  It was the only thing on that interested me.  I have not been one to watch all of the junk shows on tv.  So I guess I watched the first “reality junk” before reality was cool.   So if I ever say anything about something I saw on TV, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law tease me about seeing it on Dateline.  Well as of the last 9 years, I would have to say that is not true.  It is now the “Today Show”

Anyway, I have a new dynamic to conquer this summer.  That would be the addition of another kid to my family.  For the next 3 weeks, I will have my nephew staying with me in our home.  Then I take him back to my mom’s where I will be taking care of her after surgery for two weeks.  So that is a total of 5 weeks that my family have with this little guy.   My heart goes out to him because he has had such a rough go at it in his 10 1/2 years.  I am believing that seeds will be planted into his heart and he will see what it is like to have a safe, secure, loving family during his time with me.  It’s amazing to  me that others see such a hardened little boy, but I see such a beam of light coming from his eyes, when I talk to him.  Wow….. What an honor it is to be able to have this time in his life.

Now reality check……….I have 3 kids between the ages of 7 & 10, then you add a strong willed almost 3 year old to the bunch…….. and let’s just say “Thank you Jesus, for the Grace and Mercy”.   Speaking of that, it’s time to create their daily checklist/chore list.  If I’m gonna run a happy ship, I gotta run a tight ship.    JK   No seriously, there will have to be some structure to a sane summer

How to avoid a deadend lazy summer! May 29, 2009

Today, I got out a calendar and planned out all of the things that I know has to happen.  Camps, VBS, Helping out my mom, and other activities.  They are officially on my calendar.  Now tonight it will be time to sit with my kids and let them see the calendar and then plan out things they would like to do.  So my challenge for everyone is to take 30 minutes  or longer if the attention spans of your children are longer &  sit at the kitchen table together.  While you are there, talk about the activities that are already set in stone.  Put those on your calendar first.  Then ask your kids to list 5 things they would like to do this summer.  Of course you have to filter through the realistic vs “dreaming” activities.  Like taking a trip to Disney World vs going to the pool.  Find out what is important to them and then schedule it out.  Once you have your list then schedule your days accordingly.  Make time for them to do their summer reading.  Make time to take them swimming.  Make time for you to pay your bills & clean house.  However make the time!  Don’t think the time will just appear.  If you think it will just come then you will find yourself in August wishing you had done something with your summer.

Helpful tip to rid yourself of the guilt:  If you  schedule your days around responsiblities and play, and you make it plain where the kids know what to expect, then they aren’t feeling neglected and you aren’t feeling guilty.  Write the vision and make it plain so that he that reads it may run with it.  Make time for you to sit at the computer and pay bills.  Put that on the schedule, but make sure you follow it up with take your kids to the library or pool.  Let your kids see your plan and they will have grace and patience for you to still be responsible.  BUT!!!!! Follow thru……Follow thru….. Follow thru………

Why do bad things happen to God’s people? May 29, 2009

“Why do bad things happen to Christians or good people?” I have asked this question over and over.  Others have asked me.  Well now I have an easy to understand answer that I believe God placed on my heart.  So here is my answer to the popular question:

The Bible tells us that:

1.  God created the beginning with the end in mind.

2.  Before you were even in your mother’s womb, God knew you and had a plan for you.

3.  Satan started out as an angel, but got caught up in pride and wanted to be God, so he got kicked out of Heaven.

4.  Satan came to steal, kill, & destroy.  God came so that we may have life.

5.  God’s will for us is to be to seated at the right hand of God.  We are created to be His children.

Now with all of that being said.  We have an enemy that wants to be as big as God.  God has a plan for us or a job for us to do.  Our end prize is to be seated with Him on high.  Well think about it.  If Satan is going for the same prize then don’t you think he is going to try to throw a stumbling block in your path?  He will throw out hurts, rejection, poverty, sickness, etc… to cause you to fall off the course that God created you for in order for you to not get the prize he was denied.  The devil wants to see you fall.  He doesn’t want you to win.  So that is the “Why”

Now you can look to God and be thankful that He created the beginning with the end in mind.  Before those hurts and pains were put on you, He knew about it.  He did not cause it.  So He provided a source for you to be free and overcome those things.  God gave his one and only son, Jesus, so that we could overcome the enemy and receive our prize.  We can receive our eternal gift of sitting at the right hand with Jesus.

I think about the “Little Rascals” movie.  The bad kids stole and messed up the good kids soap box racer.  They threw out every obstacle they could in order for the good kids to lose in order for them to win.

We are running a race whether we want to admit it or not.  You may be off course or racing against the wrong thing.  But ultimately there is a prize at stake.  God is holding that prize for us.  So if you fall, Get up and keep running the course set before you.

Today I “know” what to do, but just don’t “FEEL” like it. May 28, 2009

Have you ever had one of those days that you just didn’t feel like “keeping on”.  Well today would have to be one of those days for me.  I had it all planned out and it just hasn’t gone my way.  There were projects to be completed and bills to be paid.  And those things were not completely done due to circumstances beyond my control.  So now I have a choice to except reality & go on or I can be in a “bad – poor me” mood cause things didn’t go my way.  It sure is a lot easier to have a pity party.  But we aren’t called to take the easy way out.

So now I have to hold my head up and “know” that God is working things on my behalf.  According to Phil 4:19 “All of my needs are being met by Christ Jesus”.  So according to that, I can hold my head up and KNOW that my strength, time, energy, money will be supplied to do the things I need to do.

I may be reading over this again to remind my ownself 

OK…a few Props to my husband :-) May 16, 2009

So I can’t let today go by without throwing a few props toward my husband.

Yes……… yesterday I specifically told him that while he was at home, it would mean the WORLD to me if he would please take care of the weeds in our front yard flower bed.  If you have seen my neighborhood then you would know that there is about a  negative 25% tollerance for an unkept yard.  So I am just horrified at the way the weeds have taken control of that bed.  So I left to attend something at the kids school while Trent stayed home with Palmer so Palmer could take a nap.  Notice I said “Palmer could take a nap” not Trent

Anyway I come home and guess what…… The dumb weeds are still there.  I got dissapointed in myself for getting disappointed.  After all this is a dad I’m talking about.  Rarely do they have the ability to watch the kids and do something productive   It’s just something in their DNA, I guess.

So I walk in and he is right there to meet me at the door.  His response is “I know what your thinking…… I’ve been busy doing other stuff”.  So I just keep walking.  Well I get into my room to find that he has cleaned out my closet and reorganized it.  So how can I be upset now that he didn’t pull the weeds.  It was a much NEEDED job to be done and he did a great job at it.

The only problem with this is…… my neighbors don’t see my closet! They see the weeds!!!!!  Maybe I can post a yard sign that says, “My flowerbeds may look bad, but YOU SHOULD SEE MY CLOSET!!!”

  LOVE YOU TRENT!!!!!!!!!

Finish Line May 16, 2009

So I went to bed last night thinking that I was going to wake up this morning with the energy to conquer the world.  I had the best intentions to be a superwoman house cleaner and fun mom at the same time.  Well it was right after I woke up @ 7:30am from the sound of my almost 3 year old screaming to the top of his lungs “DADDY!, DADDY!”, that I realized I didn’t have the energy that I thought I would.  I was tired, and feeling the effects of allergies from either outside seasonal or dust mites.  If you could be a fly on the wall in my house you would probably notice the dust collection everywhere.  I am quite surprised with technology though that we can’t figure out some way to recycle the dust bunnies and put them to good use in energy.  Hey, I would be very rich if you could cash in on some dust

So now I still have the clutter, dust, laundry, and basic cleaning staring at me.  If that wasn’t enough, I have my incredibly creative daughter looking at me to spend some girly time with her.  And then throw in Palmer who wants to play the drums or play baseball.  Carson is not here today because he is hanging out with his Gramps, whom he adores.  They are going on a horse/wagon ride today.  So where is my husband in all of this???????  Golf!  As if you had to ask   I married a strong man.  I’ve tried all of those “strong wife” techniques like so many of my friends have suggested and they don’t seem to work on him.  Somehow he either delegates what I want him to do or he charms his way out of it.  Either that or he falls asleep watching golf in the recliner   My sister in law has said it’s because he was the baby of the family.  He’s used to being able to use those blue eyes and that smile to get what he wants.  So with that in mind…… I need to start praying for Palmer’s wife

I’m not bashing my husban here.  Just having some fun thinking about him.  I couldn’t be more blessed to be married to such a great man.  Yes he has his faults, but for every falt he has I probably have 2 to match.  He is patient with me when I get upset and he is a great dad.  He loves his kids and hangs out with them.  We have a great relationship and love each other more today than we did when we got married.

So now back to my day…….. I just have to remind myself that this is life.  The mess didn’t get made in a day, so don’t try to conquer it in a day. (my husband is celebrating this revelation, because he’s off the hook for helping me conquer it in a day   Step by Step it will get done.  After all…… there is no finish line until my race is over and I’m in Heaven with Jesus.  So each time I do finish and get caught up, it’s right back in my face to do again.  So now I ‘m going to go to Home Depot and buy a shade for my son’s room so that hopefully he sleeps later in the mornings. I’m going to buy new tomato plants to replace the ones I let die.  Then I plan to finish an art project with Brooklyn that we started on last week.  Then if I have time, I will do some laundry.

It’s just another day in my life…………. I love every minute of it ……………

“Blame It” …. Time to take responsibility! May 15, 2009

Let me just preface what I’m about to say with this.

I believe that we should monitor what we listen to and what we allow our kids to listen to.  However saying that, I am not an Anti Non Christian Music / Secular Music person.  There are some good songs out there that are not by Christian artists.  I’ll be the first to admit that if I’m traveling I will change the chanels to see what else is on when the stations go fuzzy.  However, when I do listen to other things, I am very guarded about what I listen to.  If it’s talking disrespect, lying, cheating, adultry etc… I don’t listen to it.  What’s the point of it other than desensitizing you to the outcome.   Like I said, I’m not on a soap box of you should never listen to anything other than Christian music.  My daughter likes Taylor Swift.  However, we don’t buy her a Taylor Swift album, we pick which ones are ok for her.  Itunes is great for that.  My personal opinion is that a parent should never purchase their kids a full CD because 9 out of 10 times there will be that 1 song within the decent/ok songs that will totally throw the whole thing off.  You can buy the songs on itunes just as cheap as getting a cd.

So back to my title, “Blame It”:

While at a salon I heard a song, “Blame It” by Jamie Foxx.  As a matter of fact I actually heard it for the first time on American Idol just a few weeks ago.  Now that I know what it says, I hate that it was allowed on a show that kids watch.  OK……. so it was sensored down for TV just like I’m sure it’s sensored down for the radio.  However, the version I heard on the radio was not too sensored.  As I was sitting there listening to the words, (not just the beat) I was like “Did I just hear, what I thought I heard?”  So I being the “researcher” that I am, decided to google the lyrics.  And YEP, I heard what I thought I heard.  I thought about putting a copy of the lyrics on my blog, but I don’t want that garbage on my page.

So here’s my problem with the song. (I will save you energy of trying to look it up)  The whole song is about a guy trying to get a girl drunk / high so that he can sleep with her and show her what she’s been missing.  Not only that, its trying to get the girl to cheat on her boyfriend.  Being a Christian, there are obvious reasons that I despise the song.  However, being a respectable human being there are also reasons to despise the song.  So before you criticize me with all the “Christian” criticism that people like to do, think about it.  Even if you are not a confessing Christian, do you really want to be disrespected and taken advantage of like the song suggests?  I mean do you want someone trying to altar your state of mind so that you would do something with them that you would not have done if you had your mind clear?  Would you really want someone to get you drunk so you could cheat on your boyfriend or husband?  Would you want someone to get you high so you could sleep with them and possibly get a disease or get pregnant?

So now I’m ready for all the comments of “it’s just a song”, “I listen to the beat, not the words”, “my kids don’t understand what they are saying”, “songs don’t effect my teen”.

So let me just say this.  I am 32 years old and have been married for almost 14 years.  I have 3 kids.  So I KNOW the power of a song!  You can’t tell me that songs do not put thoughts in your head of what you could do.  I’m sorry but songs put you in the mood!

So for all who read this, I’m sure you have your own opinion.  This is just what I have to say about it.  After working with teenagers for 13 years, I have a big heart for them.  We sadly have a generation coming up now that has not been properly trained in respect, love, and work ethic.  So any time I get a chance to help them I try to.

So to all of the teens that I know and have an influence in your life at church and away, be ready.  I’ve heard some of you sing this song in the last week.  I didn’t know what you were singing at the time.  However now I do.  I’m gonna call you on it.  Because you are singing a song that says I wanna get you drunk and take advantage of you. BUT!……” we can blame it on the  Ah  Ah Ah Alcohol!”….. NO!!! Take responsibility for your actions.  Don’t open the door to this junk.

Parents, I’ve said before, get in your kids business.  Don’t let the radio/media determine what’s OK and what’s not.  They obviously don’t have it right if they will play a song that tells you “Take your panties off” and “My pants just got bigger”.  (that’s the least of it, I refuse to type the other stuff out).   I don’t want to just pick on this song, cause there are many out there.  So I encourage you to know what they are listening to.  Like I said earlier there is power in a song.  If your kids are not drinking or sleeping around now, you let them listen to that kind of stuff and it eventually gets in their head and they lower their standards and their judgment.  If you are a parent, then you were a teenager once too.  How many references to “Back Seat of the Car” to you have to hear to realize there’s a problem.  Most love scenes on TV you see there is some kind of music playing.  Hmmm…….. Maybe I have a point here…….???….!!!!

I’m not going to tell you how to raise your kids.  That’s your responsibility and your choice.  I can only give my advice and my thoughts on the subject.  However, if you don’t step in and be a part of your kids life and evaluate what they are listening to, watching, & who they are hanging out with, don’t complain to me when they end up pregnant or getting someone pregnant, or have a STD.  Or even end up having to go to Rehab.

I’m very passionate about this.  But I also don’t want to seem harsh and out of love in saying this.  There just comes a time when we have to stop tip toeing around the subject and being nice.  Nice ideas or encouragement hasn’t worked totally.  Sometimes you have to just lay out the hard truth.

My dream would be that people would stand up for morality and respect.  It’ s time to stop letting the government and world determine what’s appropriate for our kids and teens and start making those decisions ourselves.  The government and society doesn’t want to take care of our kids when they are in rehab or get an STD or pregnant or end up on the streets.  They want us to take care of them as parents.  So why would we let them take care of what’s right and wrong for our kids?

I’m done with this topic.  I think I’ve beat this “sick horse” as much as I could for now.  I didn’t say “dead horse” because I still think we have hope, if we just stand up and fight for what’s right!

PS…….I was just thinking about the blog and I decided to add this:

I understand the parents who have teens can’t control them. You can’t control what they are listening to when they are away from you. However, you can teach them to have more respect for themselves and others and try to encourage them not to listen to this stuff when they… Read More are away. But you can control what’s on their IPod and things when they are home.

Just didn’t want to come across judgmental toward those who have teens and are trying to do the best they can. I know they have their own free will to make choices. We just have to pray they make the right choices

Endeavoring to change the way I communicate with my kids & other kids March 11, 2009

Haven’t blogged in a REALLY long time.  So I thought I would blog as I read a new book.  I just bought “Hearing Is Believing” by Elisa Medhus.  So far I have only read the forward and the introduction.  I must say that I am very excited to read the rest of the book.  It addresses a big statement “How words can make or break your kids”.  I am praying that I will recognize the things I need to change in myself through the revelation in this book.  I would totally reccomend you buy this book if you are a parent.

Think about this.  What if you talked to your kids the way you talk to another adult?  Why do we talk down to our kids in the hopes of training them up into strong, obediant, confident adults?  What are we doing to their self esteem?  I think it all goes back to respecting them as we would others.  If we respect them maybe, just maybe….. they will in return be respectful.

Can’t wait to dig into this book.

How did I get so blessed? September 17, 2008

I ask myself often, “How did I get so blessed?”  I don’t have the most money or the biggest house.  However, my house is pretty big.  But that’s just it…How did I end up here?  How did I end up with the man of my dreams and 3 great children?  How did I end up stable in my everyday life?

Answer:  My relationship with God

I have lived a life in the ministry and following God’s will for our life and then I have lived a life outside of ministry following our will for our life.  The difference in happiness is like day and night.  It makes no difference what it seems like in the natural.  If you are not in God’s will for your life, you can’t stay happy for long.

I thank God for my family and where we are in our life.  It is amazing.  I find it so wonderful how God answers my prayers.  He has saved my life and my family’s lives through prayer.  I told my husband this morning that he didn’t have a chance with anyone else, because I prayed him into my life.  I sure did!!!  It was an uneducated inocent prayer of a teenager that got him into my life and kept him here.

Thank you Lord for being faithful to hear us when we pray according to your will.  Thank you for never leaving us nor forsaking us!

I am so thankful that we have a connection to God through prayer.  It’s not hard to access God and His presence.  All you have to do is ask!

Fall Sports is starting August 26, 2008

So it is now time to start yet another season of sports.  It seems as if we just stopped.  So this will be Brooklyn’s first year in fast pitch softball with the 9 & 10 year olds.  The time has really flown by.  I remember her first year to play ball.  She played park ball in Jackson, MS for a season of Tiny Tots Tee Ball.  It was quite entertaining.  She was 3 1/2 and cute as a button on that field.  I remember her being aggressive to chase the ball when it was hit in the field.  I also remember the other kids running after the ball as well.  It was a free for all.  Whoever could get to the ball first got it.  It was so cute to see the tiny ball players with helmets that didn’t fit there head and tiny tennis shoes because they didn’t make cleats that small.   Carson was just one and learning to walk at the time.  I remember dusting orange dirt from his hands as he fell while trying to walk.  My… that was a tough life

So now we have evolved into a different life.  We now have a softball player in fast pitch and a baseball player in coach pitch.  However we still have those little hands that we need to dust off when he occasionally falls to the ground.  Palmer is 2 but thinks he should be on the field playing tee ball.  I must say he does have an awesome swing already .  So give us a year and he will join the sports field @ the YMCA for tiny tee ball.  After that stage on to park ball for him as well.

So here’s to some long nights of homework, ball practice, late showers and later than normal bedtimes.  I’ll have to remind myself later in the season that we chose to live this way  Life is good!